WHY GOD WOULD NEVER RECEIVE TENURE
1. He had only one major publication
2. It wasn't published in a refereed journal
3. Some even doubt he wrote it himself
4. It may be true he created the world, but what has he done since then?
5. His cooperative efforts have been limited
6. The scientific community has had a hard time reproducing his results
7. He never applied to the ethics board for permission to use human subjects
8. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it up by drowning his subjects.
9. When subjects didn't behave as expected, he deleted them from the sample.
10. He rarely comes to class, but just tells the students to read the book.
11. Some say he had his son teach the class
12. He expelled his first two students
13. Although he has only ten requirements, most students fail the tests.
14. His office hours are infrequent and he usually shows up in disguise and at odd times or odd places.
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