Signs Around the World

In a Bucharest hotel elevator:

The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

In a Belgrade hotel elevator:

To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

In a hotel in Athens:

Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 a.m. daily.

In a Yugoslavian hotel:

The flattening of underware with pleasure is the job of the chambermaid.

In a Japanese hotel:

You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:

You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:

Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:

Ladies may have a fit upstairs.

In a Bangkok dry cleaner's:

Drop your trousers here for best results.

Outside a Paris dress shop:

Dresses for street walking.

In a Rhodes tailor shop:

Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.

From the Soviet Weekly:

There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.

A sign posted in Germany's Black Forest:

It is strictly forbidden on our Black Forest camping site that people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live together in one tent unless they are married with each other for that purpose.

In a Zurich hotel:

Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the opposed sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be used for this purpose.

In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:

Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

In a Rome laundry:

Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time.

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:

Would you like to ride on your own ass?

In a Tokyo bar:

Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

In the window of a Swedish furrier:

Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:

We take your bags and send them in all directions.

Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan:

Stop: Drive Sideways.

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:

Ladies are requested not to have children in the bar.

In the office of a Roman doctor:

Specialist in women and other diseases.

In a Tokyo shop:

Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.

From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner:

Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.

From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:

When passenger on foot heaves in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpe him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigor.

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:

English well talking. Here speeching American.

In a hotel room in Munich:

In your room you will find a minibar which is filled with alcoholics.