Church Announcements

(From a letter by Lisa Spralding, Fultonville, Ala. to Dear Abby, Los Angeles Times, January 6, 1997.)

"Most people don't realize how much editing goes into producing a church bulletin or newsletter. Some announcements have to be completely rewritten because if they appeared the way they were submitted, it would lead to total confusion. Below are some examples:"

---

"Don't let worry kill you - let the church help."

"Remember in prayer the many who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs."

"This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Martin to come forward and lay an egg on the altar."

"Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet may come forward and do so."

"A `bean supper' will be held next Sunday evening in the fellowship hall. Special music will follow."

"At the evening service tonight, the topic will be `What is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice."

"The flower on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Hunter, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Hunter."

"The United Methodist Women have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the church basement this Friday from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m."

---