(From a letter by Lisa Spralding, Fultonville, Ala. to Dear Abby,
Los Angeles Times, January 6, 1997.)
"Most people don't realize how much editing goes into producing
a church bulletin or newsletter. Some announcements have to
be completely rewritten because if they appeared the way they
were submitted, it would lead to total confusion. Below are some
- "Don't let worry kill you - let the church help."
- "Remember in prayer the many who have children and don't know it,
we have a nursery downstairs."
- "This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Martin to come forward
and lay an egg on the altar."
- "Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost
of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new
carpet may come forward and do so."
- "A `bean supper' will be held next Sunday evening in the fellowship
hall. Special music will follow."
- "At the evening service tonight, the topic will be `What is Hell?'
Come early and listen to our choir practice."
- "The flower on the altar this morning is to announce the birth
of David Alan Hunter, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Hunter."
- "The United Methodist Women have cast off clothing of every
kind. They may be seen in the church basement this Friday from 9 a.m.
to 4 p.m."